It’s not OK to use your speakerphone in public, says almost everyone. ‘It’s not all about you’

On the subway, in a coffee shop or a checkout line, somebody nearby likely has their phone on full volume.

A bylaw bars anyone on Toronto’s transit system from using an audio device without headphones, and the fine is $195. In three years, one person has been ticketed under it, for playing loud music and “ignoring repeated requests to turn it off,” Stuart Green, a spokesperson for the Toronto Transit Commission, said in an email to National Post.

The phone in your pocket is also a speaker. Is it rude to use it out loud, and should you say something?

“When you are in a social space, you have a responsibility to be aware of the space where you are and other people around you,” said Charles MacPherson, an etiquette expert, butler, and president of Charles MacPherson Associates, a Toronto company that trains domestic staff. On transit, in a library or in a quiet coffee shop, “you have a social responsibility to be aware that it’s a quiet space.”

But what about less-quiet places, like at a hockey game, where everyone is yelling, or a warehouse floor? “For me, this is black and white,” Macpherson said. “Are you being respectful of others or are you being disrespectful?”

Exposing others to your conversations, music or TikTok videos on your phone’s speaker is inappropriate, he said, because it interferes with everyone else’s enjoyment of the space.

“We tend to be very much a ‘me’ society… I need to talk to my friend. I have a right to listen to my music. I need to catch up on this program before it gets cut off Netflix and I’ve got two seasons to go.” The issue, he said, is that “there are eight billion people in this world — it’s not all about you.”

Smartphones themselves are part of the problem, MacPherson said, because they are “designed to absorb you,” and people “forget about others because you’re so absorbed by what you’re doing.”

The Toronto Transit Commission treats a phone call conducted on speaker phone as a courtesy issue. “What we find is that when our staff reminds customers about the courtesy element, people will comply. There’s no question use of speakerphone is annoying for others,” Green said.

“We have less tolerance for loud music, as it can prevent customers who rely on audible announcements from hearing them,” Green said, adding riders should report it to a staff member or through the SafeTTC app.

Metrolinx, which runs GO Transit in Ontario, told National Post in a statement that it encourages riders to keep “phone conversations short and quiet.”

Similarly, Translink, Vancouver’s transit system, has a “quiet courtesy” policy, and asks riders to use headphones for calls, music and videos, and keep calls short.

“Fines are not issued for improper use of audio devices alone,” a TransLink spokesperson said in an email to National Post. Riders playing loud audio may be asked to lower the volume, and a rider who won’t comply could be refused service, “but only in extreme cases,” the spokesperson said, adding TransLink does not typically track how often it happens.

How often Canadians use their speakerphones in public is unknown. In Britain, communications regulator Ofcom calls it loudcasting, and in a 2022 survey 46 per cent of people said they watched videos in public without headphones and 45 per cent said they made video calls that way. Eight in 10 people found it annoying, about half said they did nothing about it, and nine per cent asked the person to stop.

MacPherson would not object to no-cellphone signs, such as those in hospital or clinic waiting rooms, where people are sick. “I just think that we need to be respectful of others, but we’ve kind of forgotten,” he said.

At Cineplex, a Guest Code of Conduct posted online and in its theatres bars patrons from “playing audio from a personal device during a screening in a way that disrupts other guests,” Michelle Saba, the movie theatre chain’s vice-president of communications, said in a statement.

Should you say something to someone blasting their phone? That depends on the situation and how you say it.

On transit, MacPherson said he would let it go if his stop were next, but on a long train ride, speaking up is absolutely fine.

The mistake is how people say it, the etiquette expert said. “You sit there and you sit there and you sit there until eventually you blow and you say something not so polite.” His advice is to say something sooner rather than later.

MacPherson said he would lean over and whisper, “I’m sure you don’t realize, but I’m just in the seat behind you and it’s really loud. Is it possible that you could just hold it down a bit?” That way, you are not calling anyone disrespectful, “even though they are disrespectful,” he said.

“Kill them with kindness has always been my mantra on how to deal with them,” MacPherson said.

If the person snaps back, MacPherson recommends asking yourself: Is this the hill you want to die on? “

You do have a right to listen to your music or to whatever you’re doing, but you don’t have a right to do that to the detriment of everyone else around you.”